I knew there was an end to it. I knew that it was just temporary. I knew I could not be so exhausted and sick and down forever.
And then one day in late-December I was walking into Chipotle and I was giddy. The kids and I were spending the day with some of our dear friends and I went on a Chipotle lunch run for my friend and I. And I was suddenly conscious of feeling joyful again. That moment is so clear in my head as I parked the car and walked in the snow to get our goodies.
The snow was falling so beautifully – what a blessing. I got to eat Chipotle for lunch – what a blessing. The kids were happily playing with their best friends and I got to hang out with one of mine for the day – what a blessing. I was not tired – what a blessing. I had survived my first trimester with a 2- and 3-year old and a major cold – what a blessing! Yes, I was giddy. As in giggling to myself while waiting in line and chatting with the people behind the counter and singing loudly to the radio my whole drive back to my friend’s house. My life was good.
But the funny thing is that my life was good the entire time and I knew that. I just couldn’t feel it. I didn’t have the mental and physical energy to feel my life. I was just surviving. And now I get to live again. To have the energy to play with my kids. To kiss my husband. To stay awake for life…At least until July when I am up feeding a newborn all night! Hum…I had better take full advantage of it while I can!
Part of “waking up” means that I get to work again (yea!). Since I am thinking of joy and friendship I wanted to post a couple images that go on that same themeÂ from a wedding we shot on Saturday. Beautiful Jess was so joyful and giddy on her wedding day, and this moment she shared with her friend makes me smile…